2021 eh? What an, err, odd year. Ups and downs with the ongoing pandemic (and in case people haven’t noticed we are now heading into the second full year of pandemic; no longer are we to worry about the ‘next big disease event’ as we have the ‘luxury’ of bloody living through it), ups and downs internally due to a combination of my PTSD and various other underlying mental issues being focused and hyper-extended by, you guessed it, ye old pandemic. Throw in some decidedly dodgy messing about with hormones (I have had an on/off/on/off/on/off relationship with them this year as a part of an experiment; the casual, insane part of my mind is just interested in what effect they actually have. So far; highly sensitive nipples, reduction in testes size, some fat growth around the breasts and the mood swings of a temperamental 12 year old girl), some excessive sessions (I used the Sarah time as just something to look forward to amongst the grim reality of government lockdowns, reduction of civil liberties and on-going pandemic silliness) and some self-induced health issues (hard training for a marathon and doing the marathon while bits of me kept falling to pieces). So yeah, normal kinda year really.
I thought I’d wind it off by going back to the sessions of 2021 and picking my favourite looks; I love all the looks we do but some tick more boxes in my head than others, and I find myself going back to those pictures and thinking ‘wow, I really *love* that look’. And they are often ones you wouldn’t expect; judging by the response on social media (ignoring the ‘your a man! (sic)’ postings, that I’ve taken to responding to by going to the appropriate accounts with another vanilla account and adding comments on their pictures asking why they are surfing trans pictures; priceless) my taste is different to the average man (go figure). A lot of the more modern, sensual looks get oddles of likes and comments, whereas the ones that give me that warm, caramel-esque feeling in my soul are barely seen.
Anyway, I find myself wittering; a week or so of excessive food and drink has made me itchy to be creative and this blog is one of my outlets, so I’ll stop spraying words and get down to my favourites, in oldest date order first…..
April 2021 – my 1970’s wet dream girl
Let’s start with a but of fun; I saw this dress on the Hippie Shake website which popped up on my Facebook stream (one of the occasional moments when the algorithm got it right, dammit). It was way short, but that was the style, and I found a pair of white knee-high boots on Amazon which complemented the look. The reason it’s a favourite is that is captures the look of the 1970’s pretty much perfectly; the hideous colour schemes, over large collar, plastic-fantastic earrings. It’s the kind of photo that a lot of women who were there then would probably be embarrassed by now. And for that reason alone I love it.
April 2021 – The 1950’s Housewife in Green
I have waxed lyrically about this look before but it was the first that I did some ‘action’ kitchen picture shots with and the outcome was glorious. I am forever going back to look at the set because it, as the comment on the picture says, is delightfully ‘Stepford Wife’ in it’s look and insinuation. Wearing the frock gave me goosebumps because of the pure 1950’s housewife feel; I could imagine spending a day cleaning and cooking in it way too easily. In fact it was one of the things I noticed, especially in some of the later sessions of the year (when my body was flowing with ‘the other sexes hormone’); after a much shorter period I would feel very comfortable in the clothes and role of the housewife from a previous era. Going to be honest, the idea of spending time as a doting housewife is my number one feel-good fantasy at the moment. And this outfit just cries out to have a male prop in the photos. Ah, a girl can dream. And hence why it is high on my favourite list for 2021.
May 2021 – A chance to wear a proper Nurse’s uniform
I loved this look but I didn’t publicise it too much because it was around the time that the NHS was suffering and it felt, well, wrong. It was a shame, I’ve always wanted to try a nurse’s uniform and this look nailed it in my opinion. We also did a load of pictures with one of those hand held thermometers, rubber gloves, the works; some of them came out as very good, some of them came out as needing some kinky subtitles (mostly involving prostate examinations, cough). This look was one of my faves that I kinda buried due to the culture of the moment.
May 2021 – the ‘tranny-trope’ School Girl look
Straight after the nurse’s uniform we did this little number; it had sat in my cupboard for a long time, partly because it was a couple of sizes smaller than the ‘bulkier’ Sarah from a couple of years ago, and partly because it was an odd thing to have and to try. It’s a proper girl’s Summer School dress and that’s always a little problematic because of the connotations, but I have always wanted to wear one. It’s just delightfully, well, ‘girlie’. And this one fitted a treat. Chuck in some pigtails and a pink fluffy teddy-bear and, well, it was a bit heavenly. Plus one of those ‘tranny-trope’ top-trumps I haven’t done. I also kept the uniform because it was so comfortable. Nuff said.
May 2021 – ‘I’ll just check my purse’
I love these candid style shots; I have tonnes of them I haven’t shared because people don’t seem to like them that much, but to me that extra bit of effort showing her(me) doing something distinctly feminine adds such a dimension to the picture. In this case the frock was amazing; a proper pink floral number in a style I don’t normally purchase, square necked. Add the red patent leather handbag I bought from VoH’s as well and the whole outfit was coordinated wonderfully. Pretty sure I bought the flower from VoH as well.
May 2021 – ‘Lucy, I’m home!’
One of my favourites because it could, at a stretch, pass for a picture of a 1950’s American housewife. The outfit was a cheap frock from Amazon, combined with a full length pinny/apron and some fantastic Victory Roll hair work from Cindy. I decided to try black-and-whiting the image to see if it would look authentic-ish and I love the result. The eyeshadow/lashes and hair rolls just work beautifully. Almost tempted to print and frame this, but that would lead to…..odd questions from visitors.
May 2021 – Topless!
This is one of my favourite pictures not because of the stuff I’m wearing (because basically I’m not), but because I worked hard to shed weight and get my body into shape for the marathon I did. One of the nice side-effects was a much more svelte shape, although amusingly a thin boss at the place I work actually called me emaciated (and like the person suffering from an eating disorder I both didn’t believe him and took it as a complement at the same time, go figure). But basically I went to bed hungry for a year to get that amount of rib showing and this was a nice indication that it was having effect. Plus it’s delightfully androgynous, which is pretty much where my mindset is (when I’m not fighting back tears or random urges to scream – see ‘taking 2mg Estrogen a day’ for details).
May 2021 – So not who I am, and delicious because of it
One of Cindy’s wonderful and always on-point ‘dealer’s choice’ looks; the vain, air-headed Valley Girl. Pretty much everything I am not in real life, but wow, kinda convincing? Anyway, one of my favourites when I want to look at Sarah if she had taken a different, less retro, more ‘into boys and clothes’ direction.
June 2021 – when you suddenly can’t pretend it’s just a game, even to yourself….
Picture a middle-aged, well dressed woman standing out on the pavement. Her dress is flapping around her legs in the warm, summer wind, her sunglasses up on top of her hair so she can see her phone, waiting patiently by the kerb in her brand new leather jacket for the Uber that will take her to her date. Then let it sink in that the woman in the picture is you; a 52 year old, awkward, never stylish loner who slumps around London looking miserable at everyone else. Then let that delicious spike of wonder fill you.
Said it before and I’ll say it again; it’s sometimes hard to work out who the actually real me is; she definitely looks more happy and comfortable than him, even when she is outside and terrified. Important question that.
July 2021 – A Skater Dress with ‘added benefits’
I loved this dress when I saw it on the Collectif Clothing website but when I tried it on it became obvious that there was a minor flaw; there’s see-through and there’s see-through and this was very see-through, if you know what I meant. Anyway, it’s one of my favourites because it’s delightfully decadent, although I’m not sure who Collectif aim these kind of frocks at (other than me; they tick all my boxes). Also mildly amusing that I can post a picture of myself topless (due to the lack of boobs) yet can’r really post these to Social Media as you can see her nipples. Again, go figure…..
July 2021 – Natural Hair Colour for the win
Sundresses were a big thing when I was growing up and I always loved the style and look of them. In fact there was a black one with yellow flowers that I tended to pinch from my mother’s closet and wear a lot because I loved the way it showed my shoulders; this was before the ups and downs, and hairy growth of puberty of course. Fast forward forty years (and it hurt to type that) and I have my own sundress, courtesy of the brilliant Vivien of Holloway.
This is one of my favourites because that’s my actual hair colour (not my style; oddly enough my male hairstyle is way longer. Again, go figure) and when I look at the picture my brain can’t compute that it isn’t me; there’s just enough of me recognisable there but it’s all feminine, which is a delight to see. Plus, as I said, it’s lovely to be able to type ‘my floral sundress’. Small pleasures…..
July 2021 – one for the gentlemen….
Yeah, I started this post saying how my tastes differ from the average man when it comes to the clothes I like to see women wear, but I’ll make an exception with this one. Let’s just say that squeezing a size 14 woman into a size 12 leather mini-dress (with my own cleavage) and then posing in the mirror for photos while trying desperately not to get sexually aroused was…..a challenge. Course, now I have the luxury of being able to look at the picture from the distance of history and yeah, not going to pretend. She’s hot. And in the words of the sexist people I work with, “I’d do her in an instant”.
Would that be classed as self-abuse?
July 2021 – the shock and realisation at how men see women….
This is one of my favourites because it is delightfully absurd; a real ‘mumsy’ dress, the ‘manual’ on how to be a 1950’s woman and her look of surprise. So much delightful subtext that is a lot of fun to think about. I didn’t think short hair would ever work but I love the ‘middle aged, stylish’ look it gives. Dress your age, they say.
July 2021 – another candid selfie selfie
Another of the candid shots; slightly unbelievable, not because of the outfit/styling but because it is utterly impossible to operate an iPhone with long nails. I don’t know how (other) women manage it….
August 2021 – an impulse buy from Marks and Spencers
One of the few advantages of the Covid crisis; being able to walk into M&S with a mask on and impulse buy a dress ‘for the wife’. I’ve been out and about in this dress and have some plans in 2022 to spend more time out and about in it; it’s just delightfully femm, extremely comfortable and, dare I say it, stylish and a little sexy in a ‘MILF” kinda way. Hence it being one of my favourites, albeit in a different way to the others. If I was full time this is the kind of thing I’d be wearing every day.
September 2021 – Groovy Chick time
A favourite because I love the idea of the minidress; must be conditioning from childhood. Not the best dress for cold days though.
September 2021 – the dress I got stuck in on my Torture Garden evening…
Again, not to everyone’s taste but I love these kind of stylish, older-woman style dresses. It has buttons up the front to a high frilly collar, the loveliest of fabric for the sleeves (gossamer and see through, and over-sized for that floaty feeling) and sensible length so as to not excite her (my) husband’s friends when she wears it to the inevitable wine, cheese and probably keys party…..
September 2021 – another ‘the real me’ kinda shot
My normal hair colour again, combined with a stylish and slimming black jumper, jacket and houndstooth business skirt. Said it before, will say it again, women’s clothes are surprisingly comfortable from a work perspective; a number of years of being forced to wear a suit (and given the fact I wrote software for a living how did that help in anyway whatsoever?) and the realisation that women’s suits are sooo much more comfy (it’s the silk and other fabrics) and I’m surprised there aren’t more cross-dressers.
October 2021 – I like big bottoms and I cannot lie…..
Three words; child bearing hips. Just saying. No padding. Maybe a little bit of fat repositioning due to flooding my system with female hormones, but still. One of my favourites because of where my mind goes first when I see the picture.
December 2021 – finish on a Mrs
This one ticked a lot of my boxes; the picture of a housewife, with her apron on, about to iron the dress she is going to wear later for a date with her husband. Granted, and I’m a little ashamed to admit it, I’ve never used an iron in my life and wouldn’t know which end to plug in, but she looks like she know what she is doing. Gorgeous little lilac house dress from Amazon; a lot of the looks I did this year were £15-£20 finds there. The red dress is a lovely little number from Pretty Retro that, gasp, I didn’t actually model. Had to leave something for the new year….
So that was a not so quick whip around my personal favourites for the year; there were lots of others, and I ummed and ahhed for a while on whether to include them (for instance the Black Widow cosplay I did for Torture Garden) but I think I’ve made a good choice. Roll on 2022, hopefully Covid will start to fade a bit and we can get back to the real work of, well, spending more time in dresses and, assuming I ever work up the courage, actually being out and about. That’s the joy of a New Year, it’s an unwritten page.
Stay beautiful and true to yourselves, have a safe and satisfying end of the year, and I’ll catch you in January for some more delightful frock adventures.