When dressing turns to erotica…

Long story short – I’ve always been so far into the closet that I kept tripping over lamp-posts and wondering why it was so cold in there (hint, C.S.Lewis reference). Until very recently that is.

I’ve always planned and executed my dressing sessions with near-military levels of planning. Everything folded and placed in backpacks under camouflage of books and spare T-shirts, always sorting the use of dressing services and getting a hotel so I can desperately grow back some stubble before returning home, you know, the usual.

But I screwed up. Maybe it was just a hint of the danger, but for the first time I purchased a frock and had it shipped to my house. What’s the worst that could possibly happen, the packages are always sealed and never say what they are on the outside?

Well, the worst that can happen is that your other half, who runs an online business and uses a lot of packaging, decides to carefully open your parcel so she can use it later. And sees what is inside.

Because my other half is sweet and has the same lack of real world confidence that I have she assumed the worst, that I was potentially seeing someone else, and the announcement  that, well, the frock was for me and the burly, be-stubbled bloke occasionally liked to slip into something *way* more comfortable and bathe in the frilly warmth of femininity came as somewhat of a relief.

For me it was a little different. Sarah has always been mine, just mine. I’ve never had to share her with anyone else, never mind sharing her with someone who is my soul-mate. I share everything else with my partner, so this was really my little secret pleasure.

But I digress. I sat down with my other half and shared my collection of photos, some dating back to, shock horror, the late 80s, some very recent.

And she was fine with them – except for one set of photos that I had had done with a superb dressing service.

And this brings us to the crux of the posting. I didn’t see a difference between the be-frocked photo-shoots and this one, but this one made my other half a little uncomfortable because she felt it was overtly sexual. In fact she thought it was erotica, and that it sent the wrong message.

I found myself a little confused and, to be honest, a little turned on (bad Sarah), because I’d never seen that set of photos as anything other than me having pleasure.

Looking back I can see what she meant, and it raised an interesting question.

When does dressing to please yourself become erotica for someone else? And is that a bad thing?


I’m not going to claim complete innocence. If you’re going to pose wearing nothing but a body-stocking, heels and breastforms you’re not exactly posing for a passport photo, but I’d never seen it as overtly sexual.

Anyway, that was a one off look that I wouldn’t repeat. It was so cold in a way you just can’t explain to someone who hasn’t sat around in nothing but a couple of feet of string, and I was a touch more rotund so every one of the photos has me grimacing a serious pulling-in look.

But…… it was sexy. Damn, she was right. 🙂

Yet she had no problem with the obligatory Sissy Maid look. Go figure.



3 thoughts on “When dressing turns to erotica…

  1. the difference between your early photos and your latest ones is striking – they really don’t look at all like the same person. i mean, just look at that maid versus this one. but i guess (hope) i could say the same of my own photos from a year ago (even your old ones are more polished than my new ones, though).

    it sounds like you hit the crossdresser spousal lottery. i wish i were so lucky. among other things, i’d love the opportunity to get a reaction to my photos, but alas, my wife would prefer to not know they exist.

    i don’t see the body stocking photo as particularly “erotic” – provocative in a pg-13 way, yes, but this, to me, is far more erotic. on the other hand, in the context of your public photos, those few do stand out. i think men and women have different thresholds to begin with, but my theory is that some combination of context, pose, and clothing (or lack thereof) leads someone to think of a photo as erotica, and that everyone has slightly different criteria for each one. as for whether it’s a bad thing if someone else finds your dressing to be erotic, in general, i think it would be great (yay sexy me!), but i suppose it also depends on who that someone else is. it’s a problem if it’s one’s wife and she reacts badly; it’s also a problem if it’s a psychotic tranny chaser who lives in your town.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Blush, thanks for the complements Summer 🙂 I have older photos when I wasn’t as confident/didn’t have access to the wonderful Cindy at BWBG. Maybe I’ll do a blog-post sometime soon on the (rocky) road to where I am now in terms of polish…

      Something I’d add on the subject of erotica-or-notica is that it often comes down to two things in the mind of the model, intent and confidence. I never intend any of my pictures to be overtly erotic, in fact I didn’t class any of them as erotica until my other half made her comments, but when you’re dressed and the moment takes you you can end up flirting with the camera. Add a level of confidence inspired by a mirror and it’s a heady cocktail of feminine emotions, and that is going to show in the picture.

      In terms of others finding the imagery erotic, I don’t mind. We’re only here for a short time, and in the end in a 100 years or so everything we personally find important will be dust in the breezes of time. And if you are going to dress and pose as a sex-idol from the 50s you can’t really complain if someone finds it arousing 🙂

      Sarah xxx


  2. I have to say that I can understand to some degree your wife’s reticence about the image. Even though I love it!
    But what equates to being erotica is I think a personal thing. Obviously, there is intention as well. You may not have intended the image to have erotic overtones but your wife still took it that way. To be fair though, like you said; there’s only a bodystocking, heels, wig and make-up between you and nudity.
    On a personal note, I do sometimes try to provoke an erotic reaction in people when I share my images and get scarcely a reaction and when I’m just trying to look nice and feel pretty I get all manner of lewd commentary. It just goes to show how much is in the eye of the beholder.

    Liked by 1 person

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