transretrogurl

So, if you’ve been following this blog you’d have the seen the little tongue in cheek writeup I did of the ‘pre-game’ before my last session, which happened on 23rd July. Turns out it wasn’t that far from the truth, the Gods of weather decided one 50 year old Tranny decided to be baked until crisp at an oven temperature of 36C, but boy, did I have fun…..

Cindy is a Goddess for so many reasons, but the fact she had, gasp, got hold of a portable air-con machine meant the day didn’t turn out to be a re-enactment of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz (I’m melting, I’m melting, oh what a world!) but more a tale of three temperate zones – the make-up room, the short walk across the patio and the posing cabin which, with judicious use of the mobile air-con was like going from a slightly warm atmosphere through an oven and into a fridge. Literally.

I’ll get to each look individually and the fun I had but first a quick one of ‘those’ moments, when you have to question whether you are actually living a life or undergoing some kind of pre-death hallucination with all the fun of a kinky brain behind it. At one point I was stood in front of the air-con machine dressed as a 1940’s nurse, lifting up the already short dress to allow the cold air to circulate around the top of my stockings and the five layers of underwear I was sporting for the ‘flat yet child-bearing hips’ look I really like in my photos. Caught a vision of myself in the mirror and couldn’t help getting the chuckles as it was decidedly, well, surreal to put it mildly. But the feel of an ice cold breeze up your skirt? Priceless.

Pictured – there are so many reasons for her smile in this picture. Cold legs is just one.

Anyway, on with the show.

The temperature was already ramping up when I left the hotel – luckily I’d managed to pre-order a taxi and even more surprising it actually showed up, but given we are into the children’s school holidays London at rush hour is surprisingly quiet. I’d managed to pull a muscle in my lower back by sneezing (yeah, as you get older those amusing things happen) so lifting the bag-o-swag into the taxi was both painful and, because of the lurking heat demons waiting to fry me later, instantly sweat-inducing, but the ride to Cindy’s was remarkably pleasant and relaxing. And unlike normal I arrived on time (I’m habitually early for everything, which normally involves strolling around the wonderful dock streets near Cindy’s place trying not to make eye contact with anyone in case they go all ‘1978 Body Snatchers’ and suddenly point at me shouting ‘TRANNY!’. Which they never do, but hell, imagination do your stuff.

But today I was exactly on time, ringing the doorbell, listening to my heart thud as the microseconds passed before the buzzer rang and I could step swiftly inside out of the baking sun and into the welcoming shade.

I’d brought a bottle of vintage Champagne cos I’m nice like that, plus four cans of BrewDog Elvis Juice because I’m a high functioning gender fluid alcoholic. And oddly proud of that, for all the wrong reasons. They went into the fridge, I went to the dressing room which was blissfully cool due to the R2D2-looking air-con unit (a life-saver) standing in the door.

I was worried I’d be stinky – I’m not that bad normally but the day was immensely muggy and combining that with a sneaky Starbucks for breakfast and oodles of fear my body has the tendency to put out a combination of coffee and manly smell that doesn’t really go with the floral frocks, so I sprayed some Chanel No.5 in my armpits which was an amusingly confused masculine/feminine thing to do, and off we went.

Cue two hours in the dentist’s chair (I kid, the makeup chair is comfy but I’m a product-tranny not a process-tranny and the whole process of burying him under a beautiful layer of makeup, attaching gorgeous nails, stapling the wig cap on and squeezing into the body-shaping undergarments feels like punishment for wanting to be girlie rather than a beautiful process of feminisation) and after Cindy had worked her magic and he was nowhere to be seen, it was time for the fun.

Pictured – the magic behind the looks, wig-cap stapled in place 😉

We normally do a ‘warm-up frock’, something modern and simple that doesn’t require too many fixes and changes to the look or accessories just to get us warmed up and get Sarah’s Oestrogen flowing as opposed to drab-dude’s coffee flavour Testosterone, but this time, because of the heat, we jumped to a frock I have been dying to wear since I bought it.

1: Scarlett Johansson in the 1943 period drama ‘For the Love of Her Husband’

Pictured – Scarlett Johansson, I wish.

A quick explanation of why this beautiful frock had to be first on the list – the colour was utterly gorgeous and the material was just darling to wear, light against the skin and a pure summer frock. But it was a little transparent, meaning I had to put on a white silk slip to cover my black girdle, corset and bra. As this was the first of the day and the day was going to be roasting, I thought it was worth getting the multiple layer look out of the way.

Oh My Lord. When we put the hair on and I posed in front of the mirror in the make-up room it literally took my breath away. Well, what breath I had due to the tightness of the corset (a quick shout out to drab me for being a good boy and exercising hard, the 34in corset now gets pulled *right* in, reducing my waist to 30in at the expense of moving my kidneys into my throat and my liver into my butt). We’ve always joked that with certain hairstyles and looks, including a good ‘resting bitch’ face, I can slightly resemble Scarlett Johansson, but this time, wow.

This look almost became the third one where I couldn’t look in the mirror. When you find yourself getting aroused by the woman you see it makes it difficult to pose/stand, and this look was just adorably cute and sexy, if I may say so myself.

Cindy commented on it, and me, in my standard looking-pretty-but-still-a-drab-joker said ‘I look like ScarJo, which for me is a massive complement and for her isn’t.’ which made me laugh.

Anyway, the dress is one of five I have of the same style from Pretty Retro, a frock that is modelled on 1940’s tea-dresses with lovely colours – I have this one, in yellow, one in green, one in black with white polka-dots, one in a gorgeous dark blue with a red floral pattern and another new one, featured later, teal with a rose motif. They are all *sublime* to wear, they feel so femm and tuck in in the right places, flare out in the others. If I wasn’t being so drab I’d cal them ‘dreamy’, but that makes me sound like a 1940’s airhead, so result, let’s go with that.

Halfway through the piccies, which were done in the cabin with the air-con on, Cindy had one of her epiphany moments that both fill me with happiness and dread because she’s a perfectionist, and this time she was dead on – addition of a long cigarette holder, black lace gloves and a pretty little fascinator and et voila, Scarlett Johansson’s character was now a femme fatale.

Pictured – Femme Fatale look – a little tip, take off your rings before putting lace gloves on 🙂

Finally, as the temperature was rising and I really fancied an outside shot before it got to the point that I’d catch fire, literally, we went outside and did some relaxed poses in the garden chair. This dress was perfect for that, the colour was reflective of the sunshine and I’d yet to start melting and losing a couple of kilos of hydration.

Pictured – she is actually enjoying the heat. Not so much later, but in this lovely summer dress, bearable.

2: The 1960’s hippy chick

Pictured – another genuine smile. You’d actually think she enjoys this….

Second outfit was actually meant to be a modern office look – I love the type of frock that is just a little too short, but formal with a Peter Pan collar and cuffs. I found this one on Amazon, which ticked a lot of my boxes – black with white polka-dots and just the sexy side of too short, really, for an office.

So the intention was to do it with a modern wig, but the first one we tried looked so sixties that we changed plan and made this girl a 1960’s chick. Cindy stuffed the back of the wig with some tissue paper to simulate a beehive look and it worked a treat.

In effect this was the warm-up frock of the session, but it had a really cute feel to it and as I posed in the mirror I found myself feeling unusually shy, which is why a lot of the pictures look like a girl out on a date in the 1960s wishing she was at home with her beloved cat and a book.

Pictured – you know she has at least four cats at home, named after the Beatles. 

Temperature was rising outside now and the rest of London was starting to swelter in shorts and t-shirts. Meanwhile it was time for the gorgeous retro frocks to make an appearance.

3: The Coca-Cola Diner Waitress – oh my giddy 1950’s aunt

Pictured – I *love* everything about this look, ‘Coffee, Tea or me, hon?’

Wow. Just wow. This dress was perfect in so many ways. It ticked all of my boxes – retro styling, a uniform, gorgeously sexy in a subdued working-woman way. And interestingly I’d bought it after clicking on an advert in Instagram.

My Instagram account (go look me up, retrotgirlsarah) is all gorgeous retro photos with the appropriate tags, and given Facebook’s ability to read your mind an advert for the makers of this gorgeous outfit, ‘Unique Vintage’, appeared in my stream with a glorious looking girl in the frock.

It was late at night and I’d past the number of beers that takes off the handbrake on my credit card spending so I ordered it, finger’s crossed as to the size as it was a US shop and not cheap (worth every penny though). Fast forward two weeks later and it came and when I opened it I literally fell in love with it.

Pictured – if she can look so cute and pretty after an eight hour shift I’ll be very surprised

So, for the third outfit we did what is now becoming my favourite uniform (yeah, I have enough women’s uniforms to have a favourite), combining it with a lovely up-do courtesy of Cindy’s magic skills, with the lovely retro headscarf she gave me as a pressie at the last session, and an apron to finish off the Diner Waitress look.

When all was done and dusted and I tottered gently in front of the mirror my breath went away again. There was *no* way that confident sexy waitress in the mirror could be the lumbering, stubbly, beer-loving, inelegant mess drab-dude was. Surely?

The photos came out so well it hurts to look at them. The woman in the pictures is my ideal impression of a sexy, sassy 1950’s waitress – the branded uniform is such a nice touch. I literally didn’t want to take it off.

Pictured – one of those rare and beautiful pictures where all I can see is a 1950s Diner Waitress and no trace of drab me at all

Cindy and Vicky had a house guest in who was staying for a couple of days, and I couldn’t resist walking into the living room where he was sat and asking ‘what can I get you, hon?’. His expression was worth it.

4: Nurse Sarah

Pictured – I talked about no longer doing the ‘tranny-tropes’ in my bucketlist blog. Cough. On the other hand, that’s a sexy pose…

I bought this costume a while ago and we did it as a ‘Call The Midwife’ cosplay look with a short hair wig. I really wanted to try the uniform with a longer, yet still ‘mumsy’, wig, so the fourth look was a quick revisit of the uniform before we dived into my retro frocks.

The costume comes with a purple cardigan which we used in a couple of shots but it was getting warm now, and adding an additional layer felt like an invitation to drip, so we only did a couple.

Pictured – Carry On Nurse….

The outfit was lovely to wear – the material is a cotton blend meaning it feels cool against your skin, and the way it pulled in around the waist, combined with the Peter Pan collar and 1960’s English Nurse uniform blue made it a lovely little outfit for a little bit of fun.

Pictured – I love the cut of this uniform, the collar, the pinched waist. Oooo, Matron…

I only wore it for twenty minutes as it was a revisit and I had the Vivien of Holloway urge kicking in.

5: Candy Pink Polkadot Kitty frock – VICTORY ROLLS!!!!!!

Pictured – the real me. The ultimate Squee look, pink f*ck-me heels an added bonus.

By now it was getting to the hottest part of the day but with the air-con it was surprisingly bearable. I wanted to try the Victory Rolls look we’d done before because, well, just look at them? To me they are the epitome of 1940’s glamour and to see Sarah wearing them is, well, a thrill I can’t describe.

I’d brought two of my all-time favourite Kitty frocks and this was the first one – a lovely polka-dot pink number that, like the Victory Rolls, seems to be the archetypal retro woman’s dress – the colour, the style, the feel. Everything just screams femininity, at least to me, and to be wrapped in it is just something else.

Cindy worked very hard to get the Victory Rolls *perfect*. She normally uses a set of rollers that she wraps the hair around, which work a treat with black or brown hair, but she doesn’t like the effect with the blonde as you can see the hair-pieces.

I love Cindy to bits and she is a *scary* perfectionist when it comes to ‘her’ girls, so she spent twenty minutes rolling, hammering, nailing the style in place. I joked that there were so many hairpins against my scalp that I could pick up radio signals, or that I was starting to lose language skills, but hellfire, totally worth it and a gorgeously feminine retro look.

Pictured – lost for words.

I took the moment to produce some thinly veiled adverts for Viv of Holloway because secretly, and not so secretly, I’d give bits of male appendages to be a Viv model….

Pictured – I have a recurring day-dream where Vivien emails me and invites me to model their new line of Kittys. A girl can dream.

6: Taffeta, Darling, Taffeta

Pictured – gorgeous pose, gorgeous feel against my legs.

The next look was actually the other one of my favourite Kitty frocks – this one is the Taffeta black and silver and I *love* it for so many reasons. The buttons stand out a lot, the collar frames her face in a lovely way and the material is something else.

If you’ve never worn a Taffeta dress I would strongly recommend it (even you admirers, just the once). The feel against your skin is delightful, like wearing cool silk, and the nature of the dress means it stands out as if you are wearing a petticoat.

In this weather it was perfection. A quick stand in front of the air-con with the skirt up and it felt like I was paddling in a cold pool.

Being serious if you look at her, I mean *my* face in the pictures of the two Kittys you can see how much love I have for these dresses and these looks. This is the person I dream of being whenever I get the urge to let Sarah out.

Pictured – colour me confused but I want to cradle her head gently in my hands and give her a long kiss on the lips. Another chat with the therapist methinks.

These dresses are so *me* – I had a lovely comment on one of the Social Networks I post pictures on where someone said ‘it’s not just the dress, the girl makes the look’ and that made me feel very proud and pretty in a non-drab way.

7: Another retro frock but this time a cute girlie hairstyle

Pictured – gorgeous retro selfie-girl xx

The next outfit was actually one of the same style as the yellow ‘Scarlett Johansson’ dress I wore first.

Call me excessive and obsessive but I love this style of dress so much I own five in different colours and prints. This one is probably my favourite to date and I see myself using this a lot. If I go out again (and I probably will) this will be the frock.

The material is different on this one to the Yellow – this feels more like an evening dress, a comfortable cotton blend with the cutest of prints, the floral look is just so feminising.

For this look we went for the ‘cute girl on a blind date’ look. A gorgeous new wig that looked very retro without Victory Rolls but with the addition of a flower (bought from Vivien of Holloway).

Pictured – waiting pensively for her blind date to appear

There was something about this look, when I stared at her in the mirror, that was cute in a vulnerable way. The way she holds her handbag, the tightness of her shoulders, looks like a girl about to go on a blind date, and I like that thrill.

8: Always let Cindy have a dealer’s choice – she wanted to see me as a ballerina. Again.

Pictured – I love her ‘prima-donna resting bitch’ face in this shot

So by this time the sun was roasting and the cabin and makeup room were starting to wilt even with the air-con. So Cindy had a brain-wave – she’d got hold of a hilariously feminine tutu/ballerina outfit, amazingly in my size.

We had a fun conversation about that. This outfit was obviously made for crossdressers as you don’t get a large (sic) amount of size 18 ballerinas. And Cindy had a complete dealer’s choice so she went bananas with the look – proper up-do blonde, touch of Black Swan makeup (neon blue touches under the eyes, white and glitter in the corners).

When we’d got the outfit on, and Cindy had completed the little fixes to the makeup, we realised we’d made a mistake with the legs. I wear stay-up stockings, partly because I don’t want a sixth layer around my delicates and partly because hell, I shave my legs for these occasions and you need to take advantage of that bare thigh skin while you can.

But stockings do not go with a 90 degree tutu, which was amusing when trying to get through doors. We contemplated squeezing me into some tights but went ‘nah’, it’s a ballerina so let’s go with naked legs.

Pictured – bare ballerina legs and a femmy pose

Best choice ever. Cindy found a pair of flats that would double as ballet shoes and, after a glorious thirty seconds stood in front of the air-con with ice-cold air blowing over my bare legs, we had some serious fun with the shoot.

I’m fifty years old. Drab me has gone a bit nuts lately on the exercise front with a lot of long cycle rides, mountain climbs and heavy walks, so my legs are muscular. And surprisingly supple for a fifty year old beer fan.

Pictured – a ballerina’s pose with fifty year old legs

I managed some proper ballet poses, much to the surprise of myself and Cindy. Paid for it though – as I write this five days later I can barely stand. Totally worth it……

9: Mummy Issues

Pictured – my mother had a Princess Diana fixation and I guess I do as well

Not even going to pretend it’s anything else 🙂

Decided to finish on a little shoot with my favourite ‘mumsy’ dress and the short hairstyle my mother favoured during the late eighties, inspired by her heroine, Princess Diana.

There’s something very emasculating about this frock, and when I put it on, buttoned it up, and stared in the mirror after Cindy has put on and fluffed up the ‘Jane Fonda’ wig we use when I want to look like a middle-aged Banker’s wife, I get the oddest feeling.

I start to feel weaker. My wrists go limp, my shoulders pull in, I get a lot more demure and submissive. That shouldn’t give me a thrill but it so does.

Pictured – playing the demure submissive housewife shouldn’t be this fun

I love the retro looks. I love the pretty looks that are completely different to the gruff drab person I am most of the time. But there’s a dark part of me that loves looking like a wife who would never stand up to her alpha-masculine husband.

Yeah, all the wrong reason but wow, love this look.

Aftermath

We finished about 20:00 when the temperature was starting to drop, but still above 30C. I grabbed some food and beer after, tried to order a taxi but because it’s London in the summertime the taxis were solidly booked with a waiting time of an hour at least so, in standard mad drab fashion, I hoisted the heavy girlstuff backpack onto my aching shoulders, put my other backpack with my laptop and manbits onto the front of my chest (basically hooking the bag at the front so I have both hands free, standard military technique to please my testosterone fuelled brain) and stomped the mile back to the hotel across Tower Bridge.

The night was surreal. It still felt like midday in the heat, my eyes were squinty from the makeup remover and my back was squealing from all the ballet damage and my organs were all moving about after I’d let them free when the corset came off. It took about twenty minutes to walk back to my room, which was a/c cooled to 19C. I was coated with sweat, aching all over but just so happy with the time Sarah had had to be herself.

And I lasted a good two days before I texted Cindy and booked three more sessions. Because Sarah needs her time.

Stay beautiful sweeties, and remember that the weather can’t conquer us ladies if we don’t let it…..

Pictured – cute little fascinator for the Black Widow…..