So, it’s past midnight, the day’s coffee is dancing around the inside of my head and preventing me from slipping off into whatever fever-like dreams my mind fancies enjoying tonight, so let’s address one of the issues that T-Gurls have – admirers.
I’m going to be honest. I’m heterosexual (*immediately* the readership of the blog drops by a third 🙂 ), I’ve had a grand total of three sexual partners in my entire life, because I’m a lover not a fighter, and I find the attention of admirers…..interesting.
But before we get into that little delicious dilemma, I want to chat about the Genus Admirus.
For a start, the terminology seems a little crass. I’d class myself as an admirer, I love looking at pictures of us trans and enjoying the beauty and the femininity of it all. But the term admirer seems to have somewhat of an unfair seediness. It would be nice if we lived in a society where someone’s choice of attraction wasn’t something that people can look down on.
I appreciate feminine beauty, regardless of the gender of the individual.
Reality time – not all admirers think like this. This blog is way too short to go into the multitude of different admirers, but I thought I’d share some of the interactions that Sarah has had.
At one end of the scale I had an admirer send me a number of emails and he was utterly polite. He talked about how beautiful Sarah was, how he admired her look, her style. He talked about her as a woman, which I found delightful. He mentioned he’d like to meet her and treat her to champagne and strawberries. That’s the kind of admirer I am. Plus champagne and strawberries, who can resist that?
At the other end of the scale, wow. I’ve had emails that came close to setting my computer on fire. Lots of questions around, err, gag reflexes. Oddly enough being hetero in drab-mode and completely happy in both personas means that I’m not offended by these kind of discussions, but it really shows the way the internet can focus certain attitudes. Plus the assumption that Sarah is, well, a slut makes me offended for her.
But being a devil’s advocate I’d point out that a number of my photos could be construed as erotica. And some of the descriptions on my Flickr photos can be sensual. I’m an author so I like to write stories, and I’m inspired by the looks and sexuality that Sarah has in her photos.
So, back to what I was saying at the start of the blog. I find the interaction with admirers interesting. I love the fact that they see Sarah as a woman, or at least as femininely attractive, and that’s a little erotic. Even odder as an admirer myself I find Sarah’s pictures erotic, which is deliciously odd in and of itself.
A very good friend of mine (who was trans) once said something wonderfully insightful to me about the whole trans scene, and that was “whatever happens between two consenting adults is completely acceptable”. And she was right.
Feels like I’m skating around the message of this blog, so I’ll cut to the chase. I like admirers as long as they respect boundaries. I’m happy to chat about Sarah as Sarah with anyone, and in return I’d like admirers to treat her the way they would treat someone they like.
Sarah is a woman, and as such she has feelings. Treat her as such and everything will be wonderful.
And to the admirer who asked if I could ‘bark like a bitch’ – welcome to the recycle bin 🙂
Stay beautiful sweeties.