I spent some time about twenty years ago living in Germany, a place I really love. I had a rented flat, a whole floor of a house that was owned by a nice elderly German couple. When I left the deal was I would tidy up and then return the keys – on the day I left the elderly German woman had a look around the flat and said one of the most profound things I’d heard in my entire life.
“Hmm, this is man-clean”.
An that sums up a lot of life. I’d worked really, really hard on getting the flat clean but was missing the magic woman-touch, according to the owner.
Anyway, the reason behind the story is that I am in the process of preparing for my next dressing session and I seriously, seriously, seriously have so much admiration for women right now.
Having a feminine body, or at least something that approximates to one that won’t look terrible when photo’d, is a serious piece of work. I’ve shaved. Three times. Not the face, because I have to wait until 4:00am in the morning of the day I go to do it due to the rampant testosterone that plays havoc with my internal girl.
I managed to slice my foot across the top trying to get that last werewolf hair. I feel utterly cold as all the bits of me that usually have a thin layer of heat-retaining fur are now bare and white. I then managed to sprain a muscle in my hand trying to reach that last tiny bit of shoulder hair.
But it gets funnier. I have a *tonne* of outfits, way too many to take to the sessions I have planned, and a suitcase that won’t take more than ten frocks. So I ended up sitting there like a vapid teenager trying to choose which of the fabulous dresses would go, and which would stay. I packed the bag four times, changing my mind, taking out a costume, adding a housewife frock, taking out a skirt, adding a blouse.
So now I’m sat watching the clock, outfits packed, arms and legs humming in that just shaved way.
But it’s all worth it. Because once the make-up is on, the body is subtly re-shaped, the nails are unfeasibly long, painted, and making every single move something that needs to be thought about (scratching your eye or picking your nose is an absolute no-no) and the frock is on all of the preparation is forgotten, and Sarah is back.
And if Sarah had a to clean a house, it would be woman-clean.
And back to watching the hours tick away…..
Stay beautiful you wonderful people.